Focus

I'm trying very hard lately to focus on God, to listen to Him by reading His word, and to rely on Him.  I've had a relationship with Him for quite a long time, at least 30 years, but it is definitely stronger right now than it ever has been. I'm not going to church, but I am praying that He will show me where to go.  If you would, please pray for that too. 

I'm not a perfect person.  Not even remotely close to perfect.  I'm not, and I will never be or pretend to be.  I'm quite the opposite.  I'm a broken person.  I mean it took my whole world turning upside down for my eyes to be opened.  Completely opened to the fact that the only person I can fully rely on is Jesus. 

It would be so much easier to focus on my loss and problems.  I know it's easy to listen to the lies and insecurities that the devil whispers in my ears.  How do I know?  Because I've listened.  Feeling insecure and like everyone was better off without me was always where my suicidal thoughts would stem from. And I've tried to figure this all out on my own.  I can't do it without God! 

So, I'm going to keep moving forward with my eyes focused on God.  I'm going to fail, make mistakes, and sin.  Know what I'm going to do then?  I'm going to repent and ask for forgiveness, and then I'm going to refocus on Him.  I'm going to work on spreading love and joy to His people because that brings me happiness and joy.   

Are you focused on Him?  Do you notice a difference when your eyes are set on Him?  Do you notice that being in His word brings you positive things like peace and comfort?  Or have you noticed your focus has shifted?  If so, how has that left you feeling?  I would, and I'm being very sincere, love to hear from you.