~Quotes~

                     

 


These two quotes speak to me.  I really relate to them.  They are similar, in that they are both about how you don’t get over grief.  Not having Jeffrey here is hard.  Hardest thing I have ever gone through, and I hate it!  I have to learn how to walk this journey without him right by me, and that is not something I ever wanted.  I fully accept that I will never be the same person as before.  You can't go through something like this and not be changed.  I also know that I will grieve forever.  That won't look like me wearing black and being sad all the time.  How will it look?  Sometimes it will look like a woman who can’t get out of bed, other times it will look like a woman who is enjoying life.  The look will be continually changing.  Why?  Because I am a human being that is made up of emotions.  I am also a human being who daily makes choices.  Sometimes I will choose to be “strong”. (That word is in quotes because I never see myself as strong.)  Other times I will choose to sit quietly allowing my grief to consume me like a blanket.  No matter what though, those choices will change how my grieving looks. 

These two quotes have some differences too.  The first one talks about learning to manage your grief and honoring the person.  In marriage, we want to love, honor and cherish the other person.  It's part of our vows that we say in front of our love, family, friends and God.  Even though Jeff is in Heaven, I still want to do those things.  My love for him won't stop, and as I learn how to move forward without him by my side, I want to honor him still.  I also want to take this horrible situation and have some form of positivity.  Mostly, that looks like me holding on to the fact that I will see Jeff again someday, and focusing on our children (and in the future our grandchildren) because they are something positive that came from him.

The second one is all about how we will heal and rebuild ourselves around the loss.  We can’t go back to who we were.   We will never be the same after the loss, and I agree with her that we shouldn’t want to be the same.  We can, however, become a new person that we are proud of, even if we never planned to be that person.  I’m not quite sure I agree with her when she says you will be whole again.  Can you be whole with a hole in your heart?  I guess time will tell.