Still Pondering

Yesterday I posted the ‘One Minute After a Believer Dies’.  Digging into these verses and truths really got me thinking.  My thoughts seemed to keep drifting to how we will see our loved ones again (Praise the Lord!), and the fact that they are “to some degree” aware of activities and events here on Earth. 

I have always wanted to make the people that I love proud.  This includes God.  I’m a rule follower, and I don’t like to disappoint people.  Jeff used to say to me “You stand up so straight you’re going to fall over backwards”, and then he would chuckle.  He loved to poke fun.  Really, he was just a funny guy.  Anyway,  I’m sure many of you feel the same way about wanting to make people proud.  It’s pretty normal.  What I am learning is that this desire doesn’t just end when a person dies.  With Jeff, I want him to be very proud of the way I continued to raise our kids and that I worked hard to figure out how to support them.  Those three monkeys mattered so much to him!  I think it is safe to say that they were absolutely the most important people to him.

My goal is for him to be proud of the way I continued to live my life even after he was gone.  I want him to be proud of the way I treated our family and friends that he loved.  Can't really explain it other than to say I just want him to be proud of everything! 

The whole "to some degree" part is not clear, and I don't think there is a way to know for sure.  I don’t know what people in Heaven can see or what they will know, but it really doesn’t matter.  What matters is that I WILL see him again.  When I do see him, I not only want him to be proud of me, but I want to be proud of myself.  And above all, I want God to be proud of me.

Nothing earth shattering changes with these thoughts.  It just reiterates that I need to keep on doing what I am doing.  Keep living my life the way I was living it while Jeff was here.  I need to continue to grow my relationship with God.  I can actually hear Jeff right now saying, “Keep on keeping on!”  Love him so much, and whenever I see him again, I am going to give him the biggest hug ever.