Poignant Nostalgia

They say it’s the most wonderful time of year. Who am I to disagree? I’m surrounded by beautiful lights, a fresh tree filling my home with the scent of pine, and Christmas music playing quietly in the background. For the most part, I would say that I feel an abundance of peace and joy.

However, if you have ever lost anyone close to you, I am certain you know that underlying bittersweet feeling that is also resonating within me. Holidays are a nostalgic time, and you can’t help but reflect on the past. The problem is that so many people in those wonderful memories are no longer here with us physically. My husband, father, grandparents, etc….it’s difficult when our loved ones die.

Yet, death is certain. We will not escape this life without dying. Everyone knows this, but facing this particular reality is still a struggle for many of us. So much a struggle that most of us choose to ignore this fact as best we can until it smacks us in the face. 

Did you know that about 150,000 people die each day around the world? That’s a lot of people. But what about the loved ones they leave behind? The ones whose lives are going to drastically change because of this loss. Let’s crunch some numbers.

Assuming that each person leaves behind at least 5 close friends and family, that means everyday 750,000 people get some horrendous news. In a year, that means that 273,750,000 people will lose someone that is close to them. Now, I really think the number should be closer to 10 close friends and family members, which would mean the numbers would be more like 1,500,000 and 547,500,000. Either set of numbers is a shocking reality to me.

That number is a compounding number. Each year, about another 300 million people are added to the mix. My heart hurts for those who will be added but don’t know it yet. Ay!  

But this means that I am not alone in these bittersweet feelings, and you are not alone either. There are a large number of people out there celebrating and enjoying this Christmas season but also feeling that blanket of poignant nostalgia. I would never wish this feeling on anyone, but I also find it comforting that others may understand my situation.

Given the fact that death is a harsh reality, you would think that we as a society would be better at talking about it. Better at supporting people as they go through these feelings. And let’s be honest, we are going to go through these feelings for a lifetime because grief ebbs and flows, but it doesn’t end.  

So, if you are struggling with grief during this most wonderful time of the year, I feel for you. I empathize with you. Want to talk about it? Want to share a treasured memory about your loved one? I would love to chat with you and hear your story. Sometimes that is what we need…to talk about our loved ones and to share our fond memories with others so that they aren’t forgotten.  

Big hugs, Friends!