Loss Teaches Appreciation

Isn't this the truth!?!? Sometimes you have to experience the opposite of something in order to appreciate it fully. So often we can take things like happiness, silence, and a loved one for granted until we are suddenly faced with the opposite...sadness, noise and the absence of our loved one.

When the kids were little, I would relish the nights that they would go stay at my mom's for the evening. Maybe it was so Jeff and I could have a date night, or maybe I just simply needed a little break to recoup. However, every single time, within just a short bit I missed the noise and chaos of 3 kiddos.

Then there were those summer trips that the kids and I would occasionally take. I would try to get Jeff to go with us, but he never would take me up on it. Said he just couldn't take off work, which I always understood, but tried to get him to understand we would love him with us. When we came home, it was clear just how much we all missed each other. It's like you just don't fully appreciate them until you are separated from them because you sort of take them for granted.

I always knew that what I had with Jeff was special. Not perfect or fairytalish (yeah, yeah, I know it isn't a real word), but real, loving, and dedicated. That's why we worked hard to keep our marriage together by having date nights and going to counseling to learn to communicate better with each other. At the core of who we were as a couple, I knew that we had each other's backs. However, the day to day grind and busyness of life can make you unable to fully appreciate it because you are just trying to afloat.

Take that person away, and you can't help but be smacked in the face with just how much you lost. There was an easiness between us that I have never had with anyone else. I could laugh with Jeff and be so silly with him. We could just ride down the road in his truck, listening to music, and not speaking much and just be so happy. So content. I miss that! I miss him!

I didn't need to lose Jeff to know that what we had was special. Nope, I knew that already! But this loss has taught me to appreciate life more because you never know what the next second will bring. This awful loss also taught me to not take my family and friends for granted. It has made me more aware that I need to draw closer to God and seek Him so that I may inherit the kingdom and spend eternity with Jeff.